Written at the end of February 14, 1998...
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I'm more confused than ever.
Less than two weeks before I'm 20, and I still have such stupid problems. My views on religion, ambition, and love most of all are befuddled, unsure, confused, misinterpreted, and just plain nonexistent. This doesn't make sense because I'm a wee bit inebriated, and since nothing else makes sense, I don't have to either.... I'm screaming on the inside to be open on the outside, but there are things better left unsaid and undone. Privacy is an issue.... sanity is too. This is a suckwad holiday and I'm glad it's over with... I miss the happy go lucky me who didn't seem to mind if I was right or wrong and accepted either possibility freely. That was the closest I got to perfection, and now it's gone... so everything hurts now because nothing makes sense but it does and I just don't want to realize it. That's what hurts so bad. The real question is... Where to go and what to do now? |